Well, as I sat in my fear tonight over the creeking mailbox, and barking dogs, and after of course I looked out the window or the peephole around ten times and after I got the kids to sleep, I decided maybe it was time to go ahead and see what the word said about fear.
And as I sat down I thought, how much do I really know about my enemy? I mean what do I really know? Yes, yes, we all know he is a liar and there is no truth in him. We all know he is defeated... a murderer. And even though I know all those things I thought I better go ahead and look them up again..... look something up at least about who he is. That I should know my enemy, if I am to be victorious over him.
So, this is where the Holy Spirit took me.
-II Corinthians 2:11- ..in order that satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
Outwit: To surpass in cleverness or cunning; outsmart.
To surpass intelligence.
(This is where it gets good. )
-Hosea 4:6- My people perish from lack of knowledge.
Knowledge: The state or fact of knowing.
And Mindi's (a teacher of mine) words are playing through my head.
Read the word, speak the word, until you know that you know that you know that you know.
Lord, sweet, sweet Father, Master and Savior, help me I need You!! I need Your strength to come be made perfect in my weakness right now. I know I can only be one or the other. I cannot trust You and fear at the same time. I cannot say I believe You and fear at the same time. I cannot really understand Your love while I fear, because Your perfect love casts out all fear.
I don't know much Lord, I will admit that. I am flawed and unfaithful to You most of the time, but here I am Lord. I seek Your face. You are where I turn.. here, now in my time of need. I look to You Father, because I know my only safe place, is You. Oh Father, heavenly gracious, righteous and true, I need You!! Will You come, and hold me tight, tell me great and unsearchable things that I do not know, for my deep calls out for Yours!! You are great, always abounding in mercy, and I fall before Your feet, desperate and weary. I love You. I seek You, for I know You will lift my head. I love You, I love You, I love You. In Jesus' precious and holy blood stained Name, Amen.
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Christine
ReplyDeleteI am sorry it took me so long to read this. You are on the right track sister. Everyone struggles with this one way or the other, yours is just in your face and sometimes I think I would rather it be that way. There was a lady in my Esther small group that really struggled with fear over her children being kidnapped. It colored every decision she made in her life and crippled her spiritually until she heard that section from Beth Moore on fear. If you've gotten into your homework, you will realize that she experienced a home invasion (although she was not at home) and that there are so many miracles in your story and hers. The biggest attribute of Satan is that he has no power so he has to steal ours. He does this through deception. His only goal is to deceive you into giving up your rights as a child of God. Your right to peace, joy, happiness and SLEEP! When Jesus slept in the bow of the boat during the storm I don't think it was because He was so tired. I think he knew that Satan was going to attack and try to steal his peace and Jesus was aggressively on the offensive and showed the devil that he could not win. It was sort of an in your face devil, I'm just going to sleep. Can you imagine how enraging that would be for someone who lives to inspire fear in people? It makes me smile even now when I type this. Don't wrestle so much with this. Let God contend with this. He will take care of you because He loves you!!! I sent you an email with a link to that video. Watch it as soon as you can.
Love you!!! Agnes
One last thing....
ReplyDeleteSTOP identifying yourself with being unfaithful and flawed. You are a child of God and He chose you. He's been after you since you were born and He knows you inside and out. He knows that you are not perfect, but He cannot do anything if you keep identifying yourself that way. We all make mistakes, but He looks at your heart Christina and we both know where that is. On page 115, you will see that you are God's prized creation and valued treasure. Keeping you from recognizing that is a LIE of Satan. He wants to keep you down and God wants to raise you up so He can use you to glorify Him. That's how we say thanks for all He has done for us. We walk in what He brings to the table, not what we bring to the table.