Rescued from the Deep

What wasn't a blog post now is I suppose

2011-12-08T20:02:00.000-08:00

I know....it's been a while. I don't write, I sat down in an effort tonight, but I could not do it once again. Oh how I love You Lord. How I adore You. How I could understand how You would have no idea I did because I have a funny way of showing it.
But I do love You. I do long for You. You are my only Hope. You are my Reason.......and still nothing....but love...hidden and squelched and desperate for perfection of self and faithfulness of self.
But You...You are always....Faithful.

Faithful:

STEADY IN ALLEGIANCE OR AFFECTION; LOYAL; CONSTANT

Yes. That is You. Steady in Your allegiance.....Steady oh so Steady in Your affections...so Constant...so Loyal.

You are unfailing, unending, unceasing, chasing, captivating, overtaking Love.

Concerning my husband....

2010-12-27T19:19:00.000-08:00

These are the words I heard You speak to me this morning.

"Treat Brent as King no matter what. Fairness does not factor in . I am not Judge and Vvindicator. God is.
I am to be humble at all times, loving, indebted to love and to prefer others. "

Daddy...

2010-06-28T05:19:00.000-07:00

Daddy, I long for Your return. I am so tired of tragedy being all around me, heartbreak, death, despair, brokenness, everywhere. We watch a heart wrenching movie clip on how some poor kid was beaten for four days and then died, we cry a little or a lot and then we go back to making our B.L.T'S, washing laundry, or the new season of Survivor.
I'm pretty sure David would have went about wailing in sackcloth and ashes pouring his heart out to You. In days of old, men would even shave their heads or cut themselves in lament. But what do we do?
Nothing.
I'm just so tired of it Daddy. I just don't want to hear it anymore. I don't want to see it anymore, I don't want there to be anymore.
How many more countless people have to perish every day because of our laziness to reach out? Did anyone speak of Christ to the man who beat that baby boy to death? Had anyone prayed with him before? Maybe they did and he rejected Christ, but more likely than that no one ever did and a tragic thing that could have been prevented never was.
What about the girls being sold to men in our very cities? Where are the faithful and desperate followers banging on the doors to plead with them for their lives?
Or how about the Asian massage parlors/whore houses I know about in my town of Tulsa? Why haven't I gone and told them about Jesus?
My behavior is despicable - my complacency disgusts me.
I pray Lord God that zeal for Your house would so take over me, that I could do nothing apart from bringing You glory, that My heart would be so filled with You that it would have no choice but to pour forth from my mouth.
As it is now, there is no way that I could say I have run the race I may obtain the prize and to think of being prized for my behavior doesn't excite me...it sickens me.
I cling to You Lord, don't let me go on not making a difference. My very heart feels as though it would burst in my chest if I continued on this way, I feel their blood on my hands.

Empower me
Make me bold as a lion
But gentle as a dove
Wise as a serpent

May zeal for Your house consume my life and the lives of those around me.

'Then I said, "Ah, Lord God! Behold I cannot speak, for I am a youth." But the Lord said to me: "Do not say, "I am a youth, " For you shall go to all whom I send you, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of their faces for I am with you to deliver you." says the Lord.
Then the Lord put forth His hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said to me, "Behold, I have put My words in your mouth"..."I am ready to perform My word." (Jeremiah 1:6-9,12b)

Your words were found, and I ate them and Your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart; for I am called by Your name, O Lord God of hosts. (Jeremiah 15:16)

Thinking on our daily bread...a.k.a. Food for Thought

2010-03-22T04:09:00.001-07:00

Food for Thought....

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. ~Romans 1:18,19~

Okay, so this is awesome to me. What I gather from this is the wrath of God comes down on all unrighteousness (okay we already know that) but it says of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness (interesting way to look at it I think). We suppress the truth in our unrighteousness. Addicted...just suppressing the truth. Liar...just suppressing the truth. Fearful...just suppressing the truth. Thief, murderer, rapist, homosexual, glutton, gossiper...the list goes on and on the bible says we invent new ways of doing evil, so let's just stop there.

My point here is all of it starts with the suppression of truth. What's the truth? God is my source, He will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory, He said fear not nor be dismayed, I am with you always even unto the ends of the earth. He said I should make my body subject to Him and me, my body is the temple, it is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me, seek first the kingdom of God, fast, pray, be righteous, humble yourself seek My face, turn from wicked ways, if something causes you to sin, cut it out of your life...LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!! That is how we are to be known, how we are supposed to stand out. Not because we look nice on Sunday mornings, not because we wear a wwjd bracelet or have a stinking fish on our car...it's by our love!!!!!!!!!! That's the truth, everything can be summed up in Love. I f you don't know what to do in a situation...if you're lost or confused or don't know what to do next...that answer is probably Love! If it's not a person you should be loving on at that moment than it's God, turn your eyes to the Savior, the Lamb that was slain, and love on Him. Praise Him with your lips, and love on Him!! And if you don't have that in you, or of it seems funny or weird...tell Him so. Ask, Him to make it real.

Lord, You alone are God. You alone are good! There is no other God, no other Rock! You made the heavens and the Earth and You hold them in place. Lord, we come to seek Your face, to receive Your wisdom and grace, and to be taught to be more like You. Lord let us love You more. It is only by Your grace we are able to do it at all, and when it doesn't "feel" right remind us everything we do shall be by faith. We praise You the God we can't see by faith. We offer the praises of our lips(something that seems like nothing to us) to bless Your name by faith that it please You. God we believe in Your word, we believe in Your Son, we long for Your return, and Lord we pray that we would not suppress the truth anymore, but we would live a life of truth, in the light. And that when people see us they would know Who's we are because of our love.
In Jesus Name, Amen

What's in your heart?

2010-01-28T03:03:00.000-08:00

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit." ~Proverbs 18:21~

"....For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" Matthew 12:34

"I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." ~Psalm 119:11~

Well, it's official...I found out a little bit about what's been hiding in my heart.
You think you know what's in your heart...I mean after all, it is your heart, right? Wrong. Our lives and bodies are not our own anymore, and besides that God is the only one who knows the intentions of the heart. Sometimes I fret about that....not knowing what's in there, ahhhh but fear not!!! Whatever is in there will eventually come spillin out!!!
I say this with sarcasm this morning, because I can look back upon last night and somehow ( I know how, it's all because if You)not beat myself up about it, but rather learn, and move on from it! Thank you Jesus!

So, what does it mean that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, anyways? Well, for me it means that whatever I've been feeding my heart... it's gonna give right back to me by way of my mouth. And it did!!! Neither my heart or mouth have been laying down on the job!! Infact they went above and beyond the call of duty last night. That is for darn sure!!

I have been naive in the past, and irresponsible. I have blamed others for what I have done. Infact the past can also be called last night. Nevertheless it is the past. And today is a new day, there is no blaming others for me today, today I take responsibility for my actions and examine my ways closely. Well, I don't even have to examine closely. After the fallout around here last night it is plainly sitting in front of me.!!; -)

And allthough I have been feeding my heart good things, reading the word and what not, trying to fill it with His precious promises, life and truth, I can see plainly now that I have also been feeding it contempt, vicious anger, resentment, hate, disrespect, dishonor, superiority and many other things which are not worth naming at this time.

Soooo...how do I fix this problem? Well, first repent!! Then get back on the wagon of love. Yes, yes, it's true there is a wagon of love...haha!! No, seriously though. I know where the problem lies, it's in taking my thoughts captive to the obedience of the word. I have been trying to pick up the slack on this, but there has been a long time of letting my thoughts roam free and it has taken its tole on my heart.
From now on, I will take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. So, when( i think) my husband makes me mad, or has the wrong attitude, or doesn't do things quite right or whatever the case may be, instead of thinking in my head (like I always do) that I am superior, I would do this better, he's immature why can't he be this or that or do it this way or that way or whatever, instead of thinking those things, I am going to cast them down! Because the bottom line in all of this, is I have control! God gave it to me! And when I think any thought whatsoever it better line up with the word of God, because if it can't be found in there, it doesn't belong in here. I am a child of the King!!! My body is a living sacrifice and every inch of me is supposed to be an instrument of love! He is Love, He is in me, I have been crucified, it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me!!!! Every inch of me, is Him if I allow it to be. I can take back control (as i did last night) at any point in time if I choose to, or I can let Him shine through me.
I am thankful for His words, His wisdom, and His Holy Spirit. And allthough, I spewed venoum last night, I see now that it had to happen. It was a purging of sorts. He let me do my thing and has shown me the error of my ways. I am not haunted by last night, I am empowered by today. The entrance of His words brings light to me!!

Father, Holy are You, righteous and true! There is no other God, there is no other Rock! You are the holy One. You are Faithful, Your kindness to me is everlasting. I am so overwhelmed by Your love and grace, I can literally feel You here with me, speaking to me...who am I? I see now that I am Yours, I see my name carved into the palms of Your hands, I see my name and my steps on Your lips. You care so much for me...and I cannot even understand how much. All of Your thoughts towards me are holy, and Your love is everlasting. Thank You for the mercy seat!! Thank You for pouring Your mercy out on me. I see now the error of my ways, and am truly so thankful for Your wisdom, and light!!! I am so thankful to see Your progress in me, I am thankful that You have taught me to not beat myself up anymore, and cling to Your grace!! You have taught me that what is behind is behind whether it be last year, last night, or two minutes ago. You made time and it matters not in the past. The past is the past. I am forgiven, because Jesus was forsaken.
Father, I need You! You know this. Holy Spirit, please show me my thoughts at every moment!! Don't let me let my mind run free!! I want it to be subject to me! I want a sound mind and I know You have granted it to me. Thank You for a sound mind, thank You for Your words hidden in my heart. Thank You that soon all that will be pouring out of my heart is Your word!! Thank You that You love me. Thank You that as I request it, so shall it be because the answers are Yes and Amen. Guide me, teach me, and help me to be slow to speak, not provoked to wrath, not angry, not malicious, but always reaching out and speaking forth Your love! I need Your healing love to pour forth from my mouth today, and everyday here after. I love You Father, You are glorious, and I am overwhelmed by Your faithfulness and love!
In Jesus name I pray, Amen

Sooo...what will I do? I will take every thought captive to the obedience of God's word. If it's not in there I'm not gonna dwell on it!! I will speak forth positive things. I will thank God for my strong husband, who is kind and gentle, and loving. I will thank Him for the work He is doing in my husband's life, preparing Him for the path He has for him. I will thank Him for the love and peace that is brewing in my husband's heart!!! I will begin to confess with my mouth the wonderful things about my husband whether they are visible to me at the time or not!!!!!!!!!
I will continue to read Your word and speak it in and out of season!! I will be blessed as my house is filled with God's light!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

" The entrance of Your words gives light;
It gives understanding to the simple." ~Psalm 119:130~

"“The Spirit of the LORD spoke by me,And His word was on my tongue." ~2 Samuel 23;2~

"His mouth is full of cursing and deceit and oppression;Under his tongue is trouble and iniquity. ~Psalm 10:7~
"Keep your tongue from evil,And your lips from speaking deceit." ~ Psalm 34:13~

"My soul is among lions;I lie among the sons of men Who are set on fire, Whose teeth are spears and arrows, And their tongue a sharp sword." ~ Psalm 57:4~

"Who sharpen their tongue like a sword,And bend their bows to shoot their arrows—bitter words" ~Psalm 64:3~

"The tongue of the righteous is choice silver; The heart of the wicked is worth little." ~ Proverbs 10:20~

"There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health." ~ Proverbs 12:18~

"A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit."~ Proverbs 15:4~

"Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell....But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." ~James 3:5-8~

"I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." ~Psalm 119:11~

More on Faithfulness

2009-12-22T06:25:00.000-08:00

Allthough faithfulness to the dictionary is justly representing the Original, and I feel like I fail in that comparison.
I know Your definition is the only one that matters.
Faithfulness to You is me dusting off my knees again, counting on Your mercy this morning, and boldly coming to the throne of grace again.
Faithfulness to You is not leaning on my own understanding but acknowledging You in all my ways.
Faithfulness to You is trusting You today.
Faithfulness to You is me knowing I can't make it on my own and clinging to Your grace all the more.
Faithfulness to You can be summed up in me loving You.

And oh how I love You.

Your faithfulness surrounds me.

2009-12-21T07:57:00.000-08:00

If we are faithless [do not believe and are untrue to Him], He remains true (faithful to His Word and His righteous character), for He cannot deny Himself. ~II Timothy 2:13~

It always amazes me, how You can hide so much in so little. How much do we miss Father by breezing by Your words like just another no parking sign?

Thank You Father God, that You remain faithful. Thank You that You cannot change, You cannot deny Yourself like we so often manage to do. Thank You! I love You! You are Holy, Righteous and True. There is no other God, no other Rock.

For the upright will dwell in the land, and the blameless will remain in it; but the wicked will be cut off from the earth, and the unfaithful will be uprooted from it. ~Proverbs 2:21,22~

Upright: Pointing upward, morally erect, honorable and honest.

Dwell: Reside

Blameless: Free of blame; or guilt. Innocent

Remain: To be a part not destroyed, taken or used up.

Wicked: Evil by nature and in practice. Severe and distressing. Highly offensive.

Cut: Sever
Off: So as to be completely removed, finished or eliminated.

Unfaithful: (Okay this was pretty significant to me, so I had to put it in yellow. :) NOT ADHERING TO PROMISES. (Whoa. Did you hear that? Or is it only significant to me?), obligations or ALLEGIANCES(<-- another whoa for me!!), disloyal. (--->another whoa!)NOT JUSTLY REPRESENTING OR REFLECTING THE ORIGINAL, inaccurate.

Uproot: To pull up, to displace, to remove or to utterly destroy.

Okay, so....is it just me that this hits like a thousand pound punch to the gut? NOT ADHERING TO PROMISES?? Ummmm...you mean like the promise that is every word breathed from God's mouth? Like when I feel alone, or let myself dwell in loneliness? Because after all, didn't He promise He would never leave me, no never? You mean that promise?
Or how about the promise of peace? Not just peace, but peace like a river. Peace that surpasses all understanding? Am I laying hold of that which He has promised me? A life of peace?
Or how about the promise of protection? Am I living in fear of what might happen to me? I mean didn't He promise that no evil would befall my family, no weapon formed against them would prosper? You mean that promise?
Or what about being close to You God? When I go about my day as if You are not there? When I think and live as if You are far away. Like why would You want to be near me, when I fail so much? After all, didn't You promise that if I drew near to You, You would draw near to me?
Soooo many things You have said. So many things promised. Do I adhere to Your word? I mean sure, I try to be honest, and try to be loving and forgiving. But what about Your other promises? Do I believe You when You say You won't leave me? Do I believe You when You say You will protect me? When my mom and my dad fail me, You will never fail me? When I don't know what to say, You will speak through me? What about that You forgive ALL my sins and heal ALL my diseases? What about a life of abundance? Do I believe that? What about that You do not speak in secret? That You are here? That You hear me, that You love me, that Your grace is sufficient for me, that Your angels guard me, that there is no fear in love, that perfect love casts out all fear? Am I afraid I'll lose You? That You'll forget about me? The very creation of Your hands? Am I afraid You will dump me off thinking I am too much work? Am I afraid You won't protect me? That maybe You do want me to die at the hands of robbers and thieves? What does Your word say?? No evil, no evil, no evil will befall my family, no weapon formed against us will prosper, Your angels will guard my life, I have the choice to choose life or death, choose life. Do I believe that You know the plans You have form me, that they are plans for good and not evil, to give me a future and a hope? Do I believe Your promise that Your word won't return to You void? That it will accomplish all that You have sent it to do? Do I believe? If I do not believe how can I adhere? How can I adhere to Your promises if I do not believe? How can I believe without seeing it first? By faith? Oh, well, how can I have faith ...oh You say that faith comes by hearing, and hearing the word of God?

Wow! I had a point to make and now I think it got lost in translation. :) But maybe after seeing these definitions this verse will hit you just a little bit different as you are breezing by it next time.

One more time I will put down the definitions to unfaithful for you.
NOT ADHERING TO PROMISES, obligations or allegiances. Disloyal, NOT JUSTLY REPRESENTING OR REFLECTING THE ORIGINAL, inaccurate.

So, who do you represent? Who are you reflecting? How close is it to the Original? Are you adhering to His promises? Do you really believe Him?

Like the man asking Jesus to heal his son (matthew 17:14+) I often have to cry out "..Lord, I believe.; help my unbelief!"

Thank You Father for Your precious Son. Thank You Jesus, for Your sacrifice, Your spilled blood that covers me and grants me victory through Your promises.

Blind Bartimaeus

2009-12-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

~And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, Jesus, thou son of David have mercy on me. And many charged him that he should hold his peace; but he cried the more a great deal, THOU SON OF DAVID HAVE MERCY ON ME~ (Mark 10:47,48)

This is great. A great example of faith. A man who would not be quiet and who would not give up.

When we cry out to Jesus, trouble will come, when we stand on His promises, trouble will come, busyness will come, faint heartedness will come, exhaustion may come. We may be battered on every side. People may be all around us laying small seeds of doubt, "Just be quiet. " " Are you sure that's what His word means", (two of my faves--->) "Are you sure that is God you are hearing from?", "Yeah, but look at how you live! You just cursed someone out today. You really think God's gonna help you?"

DON'T GIVE UP!!! Don't fall off course, don't stop standing on the promises, and whatever you do, don't stop crying out to the Lord!
If anything, be like Blind Bartimaeus and cry out all the louder!! Drown out the cares of this world and the voices of doubt! Stand firm having girded your waist with truth (God's word) and cry out until you see His face!
Do not- I repeat do not be moved! After all you are saved by grace, not by how "good" a christian you were today! It is not by anything we can do, or anything we can be. We are made righteous by the precious, spotless, spilled blood of the Lamb.

~And Jesus stood still and commanded him to be called. And they called the blind man saying unto him, Be of good comfort, rise He calleth thee....and Jesus answered and said unto him, what wilt thou that I should do unto thee? The blind mansaid unto Him, Lord, that I might receive my sight. And Jesus said unto him, Go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole. And immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus in the way. ~(Mark 10:51,52)

~For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God: not of works lest any man should boast~ (Eph. 2:8,9)

This is now

2009-12-03T09:28:00.000-08:00

In an acceptable time I have heard You, and in the day of salvation I have helped You; I will preserve You and give You as a covenant to the people, to restore the earth, to cause them to inherit the desolate heritages; that You may say to the prisoners, 'Go forth, to those who are in darkness, 'Show yourselves.' They shall feed along the roads, and their pastures shall be on all desolate heights. They shall neither hunger nor thirst, neither heat nor sun shall strike them; for He who has mercy on them will lead them, even by springs of water He will guide them. I will make each of My mountains a road, and My highways shall be elevated. ...Isaiah 49:8-11

This time is now....we His people are to inherit the desolate heritages now...now we are to go forth, step out show ourselves, now. Now we are to neither hunger nor thirst. We are led by springs of living water now. NOW, NOW, NOW!!! NOW is the time!!!

What are we waiting for?? Why are people not arising and claiming the good life God has for us?? I am no different. I am one of these. Waiting, confused, not sure. Oh, how terrible those things are.
The enemy is the confuser, not God!

He has plainly stated in His words, He has forgiven all our sins, and has healed us of all our disease. (Psalm 103:2,3)

He called His twelve disciples to Him and gave them authority to drive out evil spirits and to heal EVERY disease and sickness. (Matthew 10:1)

He has said that ..those who seek the Lord lack NO GOOD THING. (Psalm 34:10)

What is the matter with us? This same power is in us. We lack no good thing!! We have the authority to drive out demons, and heal EVERY disease and sickness!!!! Why, why do we walk in lack?? Why are we so afraid to step out in faith and heal??
This is what it comes down to ultimately. Do we believe God or not? I mean in the beginning was the word, and the word was with God and the word was God, right?? So, if the word is God, and the word says it then God says it. And it's not something we have take with a grain of salt, It is, IT IS...IT IS....IT IS. It just is. There isn't any casting of shadows with Him, He doesn't change, He doesn't deceive or twist or contort, He speaks plainly, DO WE BELIEVE?????????

Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek. (Hebrews 6:17-20)

So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. (Isaiah 55:11)

Know your enemy 101

2009-11-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

Well, as I sat in my fear tonight over the creeking mailbox, and barking dogs, and after of course I looked out the window or the peephole around ten times and after I got the kids to sleep, I decided maybe it was time to go ahead and see what the word said about fear.
And as I sat down I thought, how much do I really know about my enemy? I mean what do I really know? Yes, yes, we all know he is a liar and there is no truth in him. We all know he is defeated... a murderer. And even though I know all those things I thought I better go ahead and look them up again..... look something up at least about who he is. That I should know my enemy, if I am to be victorious over him.
So, this is where the Holy Spirit took me.

-II Corinthians 2:11- ..in order that satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.

Outwit: To surpass in cleverness or cunning; outsmart.
To surpass intelligence.

(This is where it gets good. )

-Hosea 4:6- My people perish from lack of knowledge.

Knowledge: The state or fact of knowing.

And Mindi's (a teacher of mine) words are playing through my head.
Read the word, speak the word, until you know that you know that you know that you know.

Lord, sweet, sweet Father, Master and Savior, help me I need You!! I need Your strength to come be made perfect in my weakness right now. I know I can only be one or the other. I cannot trust You and fear at the same time. I cannot say I believe You and fear at the same time. I cannot really understand Your love while I fear, because Your perfect love casts out all fear.
I don't know much Lord, I will admit that. I am flawed and unfaithful to You most of the time, but here I am Lord. I seek Your face. You are where I turn.. here, now in my time of need. I look to You Father, because I know my only safe place, is You. Oh Father, heavenly gracious, righteous and true, I need You!! Will You come, and hold me tight, tell me great and unsearchable things that I do not know, for my deep calls out for Yours!! You are great, always abounding in mercy, and I fall before Your feet, desperate and weary. I love You. I seek You, for I know You will lift my head. I love You, I love You, I love You. In Jesus' precious and holy blood stained Name, Amen.

More on fear.

2009-10-12T21:42:00.000-07:00

" What is man that You are mindful of him, or the son of man that You take care of him? You have made him a little lower than the angels; You have crowned him with glory and honor, and set him over the works of Your hands. You have put all things in subjection under his feet. "

For in that He put all in subjection under him, He left NOTHING THAT IS NOT PUT UNDER HIM. But now we do not yet see all things put under him.......Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy him who had the power of death, that is the devil, and release those WHO THROUGH FEAR OF DEATH WERE ALL THEIR LIFETIME SUBJECT TO BONDAGE. For indeed He does not give aid to angels but He does give aid to the seed of Abraham. - Hebrews 26+-

I really like how the amplified bible tells verse 14 and 15.... that by (going through) death He might bring to NOUGHT AND MAKE OF NO EFFECT him who had the power of death- that is, the devil. And also that He might DELIVER AND COMPLETELY SET FREE all those who through the (haunting) fear of death were held in bondage throughout the whole course of their lives.

Dear Fear

2009-10-09T21:05:00.000-07:00

I hate you!!! I realize now you are not some simple emotion.

You come and you threaten all that I believe in.

I hate you. I have overcome you. You must get behind me. You are underneath me.

You can go now.

Did I mention I hate you?

Let the Lord be magnified

2009-09-17T21:06:00.000-07:00

He will cover you with his feathers.
He will shelter you with his wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
nor the arrow that flies in the day.
Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,
nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
Though a thousand fall at your side,
though ten thousand are dying around you,
these evils will not touch you.
PSALM 91:4-7

Girl America

2009-09-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

This song means so much to me...it breaks my heart every time I hear it, reminding me of how much it means to be a girl. What a gift it is from God, and what a hard road it has been, and how I am just finally now embracing my girl hood.

My girl America is just a youth in this world
Her smile is more precious than the sparkle of pearls
And though her age reads she's just a young girl
The age behind her eyes show the pain that she's swirled
Through the hand that's been dealt though it's quiet as kept
The weight that she felt last night when she slept
And as she crept into the dreams of the things of her past
Seems to have grown so fast, way beyond her own class
Though they're right there with her, her brothers and her sisters
A natural born leader even when her peers dis her
My girl, she's at a crossroads, people praying for her
Some are preying on her magazine ads, sex, drama
Smoking marijuana, longer for a father to call her, 'daughter'
She's part of a generation longing for reconciliation
And this future that they're facing and this poison that they're tasting
My girl, I know this love you're chasing

[chorus]
My girl America's crying when she's lying on her bed at night
I can see that she's screaming when she's dreaming for her freedom
My girl America's dying while she's trying just to stop this fight
Don't stop believing, my girl America

Boys with hungry eyes have been beating her door
Telling her that's what she's for, trying to rob at her core
Then leave calling her a whore, but still she knows there's more
I know she knows there's more because there is a voice she can't ignore
'Cause it was founded in the foundations, from the day of her creation
In God we trust engraved on the treasures of her nation
And the void that the boys can't fill
With the tipping of the bottle or the popping of the pill
But still most of her friends don't care as they glare
Ready to drown down the funnel as they frown down the tunnel
They stumble and they tumble breaking down into rubble
My girl America, stop can't you see
It's not the circumstances that determine who you're gonna be
But how you deal with these problems and pains that come your way
It's for you that I pray with hope for a brighter day
And so I say, your deliverance is coming

[chorus]

Faith like a child from your first birth
You left it in the dirt on your worst hurt
And I see each tear and every scar
The hands that have held you where you are
And I can see we've strayed so far
A king born under that morning star
As a crown of thorns was placed to erase
Each tear that's touched your face
And his palms and sides were pierced with spears
He hung in love just to draw you near
My girl, out of this whole world
Can't you see this is where we started?

[chorus]

Fear...it's a funny thing.

2009-09-01T19:36:00.000-07:00

Fear is only in our minds... by ❀Amy.Es̫mE❀̫ on Polyvore.com

I like this picture. I think about shooting down fear with that arrow instead of the gun that sits in front of me.
Fear...it's a funny thing. I hated the caption on this picture, "Fear is only in our minds.." I thought what BS. I feel it inside me everywhere. In Leviticus where it says ..."I will make their hearts so fearful in the lands of their enemies that the sound of a windblown leaf will put them to flight. They will run as though fleeing from the sword, and they will fall, even though no one is pursuing them." -26:36-....I feel like that's me.

The smallest sound now sends me jumping, and I pray when I go to bed to not wake up until it is daylight. I'd like to lie and say I'm fine, that I'm not afraid. After all, isn't that what the word tells me to do?? Be not afraid? I'm not sure what happened. The day of the burglary I was fine...but now...it is like I become paralized by fear.

To put a little more icing on the cake it's not as if Your words are not full of be not afraid comments or rather, commands, yet here I sit, trying to be as quiet as I can so I can make sure I hear if someone breaks in again. Ummmm....hello I have a security system, heavy duty steel doors, two pit bulls, a 9mm and a frigin shot gun and I am still afraid!!!!!!!!! Which leads me to my next point.

I know my fear is completely irrational! I have security measures out the wazoo, I have a God who saves, not who saves, but who has saved me...personally on numerous accounts starting back with the burglary. So, if God saved me once, if I am His child, His chosen one, His most precious jewel crowning His head...then won't He save me again? Yes, yes He will. And I know it. And I also know that there is a time for everything. There is a time to live and a time to die. And I know that when it is my time to die...I know, that I know, that I know...where I am going!!! After all, "In God I trust...What can man do to me?" -Ps. 56-

Still, I am afraid. I can try and try and try all I want...(did you notice all the I's??) But I suppose when the fear does leave (I actually feel it slightly subsiding now) it will be due to my lack of control on the issue. Or at least my lack of trying to control the issue and just letting the Holy Spirit do it's work in me. After all...He is the Helper (John 14:15) And I as a christian have Him here right stinkin now. He IS in me!!

Ugh! Well, what can I do? I can pray, I can read God's word and remind myself of how many times He tells me to be not afraid, and why He tells me that. And I can take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ..the Word.

Because whether you or I like it or not, the caption on that picture is right. It's all in your head. Or, rather my head. The mind is the battlefield, the mind is a very powerful thing. It can be tricked. I can be tricked by thoughts that will ultimately trigger my body to tremble just like that scripture says. So, that is what I will do. I will renew my mind by the power of God's living word, and let the Helper help me... (no matter how slow it may seem) into that sound mind that Timothy says I have.

Yeah, that's what I'll do, and I'll obviously blog about it so you all can pray for me!! Cause....you're my Helpers too, right. Uh, in case you didn't know that's my way of asking you to pray for me, so step to it. (I NEED YOU)

THE EFFECTUAL, FERVENT PRAYERS OF THE RIGHTEOUS MAN, AVAILETH MUCH! -James 5:16-

TINABAER

Taking Captivity Captive

2009-08-05T05:11:00.000-07:00

" " 'As for you my son Solomon know the God of your father and serve Him with a loyal heart and with a willing mind; for the Lord searches all hearts and understands all intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him , He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will cast you off forever.'
I Chron. 28:9

As I sat there this morning my thoughts wandered. Thinking on the intent of my thoughts..as Your word put it. And so, I am reminded of how many times I set my marriage up for failure before my husband and I split up. I remember thinking how could this have happened?? I thought I was so close to the Lord. I was going to church, waking up early reading the bible, praying, trying to stay in my marriage. How could I have let the enemy come creeping in? How could I go from Jesus freak one day to the backsliden adulterer the next? How was it possible?

Then I remembered..(as You would obviously have me do) my thoughts. I remember how I would think things like..."If Brent and I were not together, would I be with someone else? If so, who? Would it be one of my old friends? Or someone new? Maybe it would be someone in the church! " or I would think things like "I know I could find someone to treat me better than this! Why are you staying here? Leave!! You never stayed with any other drama like this, why stay now?"

And now after recovering from the err of my ways and by the grace of God being reunited with my husband( who loves me so much only God knows how :)...I see where I set myself up for failure time and time again.

By even entertaining such thoughts I was first of all sinning allowing the enemy to have a foothold in my life (his playground is after all the mind) and second of all not taking the authority that Jesus Christ gave me. After all we are supposed to ..'cast down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.' -II Cor. 10:5-

So, casting down arguments and every high thing--so things(hateful thoughts, prideful thoughts, self righteousness etc.) that exalt themselves against what Your words say. (i.e., love others as yourself, do not strike out in anger, pray for your enemies, don't point at the speck in someone else's eye when you have a plank in yours etc.etc.)
Don't just think those thoughts speak the truth against them...taking them captive, holding power and authority over them by Christ's words....my thoughts have to obey Christ-if I demand it of them.

And we are able to do this because, 'the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for the pulling down of strongholds.' -II Cor. 10:4-

Strongholds: place or means of protection or refuge. satan's power.

So, our weapons are mighty in God for pulling down any means of protection for the enemy, or any place of refuge for the enemy. He has no place to hide and no place to take refuge when we use the weapons of warfare.
Which are...found in Eph. 6. But basically it can all be summed up in You...following You and Your words. What do they say about my life? Those are the things I need to proclaim over my life and my thoughts. And if my thoughts don't align with Your words, then they have no place in my head and I have the right, and authority to say so.

Thank You Lord, for Your constant direction, and protection and sweet, sweet revelation!

And

Meditate on these...or at least I will

2009-07-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

Consciously refuse each day to rush into activity. Instead, devote quality time to expressing your dependence on God and deepening your intimacy with Him.
(c.j. mahaney)

When we fail to wait prayerfully for God's guidance and strength, we are saying, with our actions if not our lips, that we do not need Him. (Charles Hummel)

Oh how we want You to come!!!!

2009-06-25T17:27:00.000-07:00

Oh, how I want You to come!!! I am desperate for You tonight God!!

As the "breaking news" of Michael Jackson's death came over the air waves, I felt sick to my stomach. Why are they making this breaking news, this is ridiculous!! The man lead a very questionable life, and how is he so much more special than anyone else who dies? Honestly!!

But now as I have had a chance to sit at my computer, and look at a slideshow of him, my heart aches for the terror that was this man's life. It's weird how certain things hit me...something as simple as a boy crying in the doctor's office, or something so bizarre as this man's life set my heart in the state where it remembers how empty this place is, how dark, how hard it is here, and how I long for Your return!!

Everyday or at least most days we go on living, laughing, loving, and forget how serious this place is, how real a battle that must go on, how real the terrors of hell are, and how many people are in need of redemption.

So tonight, I remember how much I hate this world. How much I hate the enemy, how much I long, and yearn for Your return.

What pain must have been Michael Jackson's life, what turmoil, what must he have been batteling? What was it that made him so unhappy with how You created him that he had to go and twist and contort it until he couldn't find himself anymore.

God of all things, merciful, merciful Lord....we desperately await Your return. Even creation groans in pain awaiting Your arrival. Forgive us Lord, forgive me...for not caring enough, being so wrapped up in myself, and my "religion" that I don't see people for who they really are, or what they are really going through. ...Change me LORD..please, please, change me!!! Don't let me fail in the battle, don't let me be so full of selfishness that I am oblivious to the truth, and the reality that is broken hearts surrounding me. May Your kingdom come Lord!!! Bring heaven here....bring Your heaven here on this earth!!!!! Bring Your peace, bring Your love, Your grace, Your presence. I LONG FOR YOU LORD!!!! MY HEART BREAKS FOR THE PEOPLE AROUND ME...I AWAIT YOUR RETURN!!! COME LORD, COME!!!!!

No greater love...than to lay down on'es life for his friends.

2009-06-18T22:28:00.000-07:00

So....I am in no way a distinguished writer. I have no college degrees, heck I don't even remember english class...... Is that what it was even called??

So, forgive me if this isn't quite right, or in order, or correct or if there are running on sentences, or if commas are in the wrong places, and so forth and so on and on and on.

I have been thinking about "blogging" for some time now, but have yet to actually do it. But tonight, as I walked away from a fire man in his fire truck, I knew it had to be done. If for nothing else then for my satisfaction.

Two years ago firefighters came to our rescue. And you know how you always hear people say I thought it would never happen to me? Well, I was never that way. I always expected the worst to happen, welcomed it, embraced it, and thought worthy of all the chaos that could come upon oneself. Or at least that's what I thought until smoke came bellowing out of the roof of our apartment and I had to call 911....and as I was crying on the sidewalk I thought "Wow! I really thought this would never happen to me."

Anyways, so there we were all piled on the sidewalk watching our homes burn, and there they were trying to do everything in their power to save our homes. And had any of us been trapped in there they would have tried all the more harder(<----??) to fight for our lives.

After what seemed like forever we were finally able to go into the court yard to find out that while fighting the fires they were also carrying out all of our valuables before soaking the place in water!! Our pictures, our clothes, our big screen t.v...u name it they saved it. Talk about above and beyond. I mean...really?? Did you know that they did that?? They didn't have to care about our stuff. We were just another fire for the day, another burning building to immerse in water.

Am I even making any sense?? Maybe I could have summed this all up in just a few words...

I HEART FIRE FIGHTERS!!!!

What an amazing job, what an amazing group of people....I always wanted to do something courageous when I was a little girl. I wanted to be a fighter pilot..or a fire fighter, or something...someone brave, and courageous...who wasn't afraid..or maybe who was, but laid it all down anyways.

And that's it...that's what they do...they lay their life down for you...for me..everyday walking into the flames of uncertainty. Has anyone else had those longings...those pulls in their heart to be something great..do something courageous?

I read a book a while ago by John Eldridge called Epic. And basically what it said was that everything echos what we were called and created for. The romance, the beauty, the danger, the victory. It is written in our hearts by our Creator. He is calling us to the danger zone, the point of no return....the place where we finally fall down on our knees crying Abba.. Father... Master..Savior and Friend...no looking back, I fight for You and Your kingdom now...in the battle that ends victoriously.

And that's it..that's what they ( fire fighters) make me think of...our true call. I believe we are all called to that mysterious place of peace, danger, beauty, agony, falling, getting back up, fighting, no looking back...laying it down at the Master's feet, and pressing on with His right hand upholding us.

Will you listen to the voice that is calling you, or have you like so many of us drowned it out too?

Lord, we come before You now....in Your presence...in Your victory. Lord, we ask that our sins be forgiven right now...that we be cleansed from all unrighteousness by Your cleansing flood that washes over us. And we thank You for the power of the cross and Your shed blood that our sins are no more before You, that You see us as we truly are. Fighters, Warriors, Victorious and Beautiful people. For that is who You created.

We pray that You would make those things true in our lives. That it would be real, we long to serve You and Your kingdom. Fighting the good fight with perseverance, and strength. May Your word truly be a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. May Your words be like that which we cannot get enough of, that we would long for it, yearn for it, wake for it, eat for it, sleep for it, and be baptized in it. Your will Your ways, Your power, our lives. May it all be as You have said for all Your thoughts and plans toward us are holy. May we never ever look back, and may we cling to You...our Leader, Lover, Master, Savior and Friend. Holy are You. We lift You up and give You glory for You alone are worthy. In Jesus name... Amen.

Wow, kind of went off there. I do that sometimes, so bare with me. You never know. My writing could improve. :)

And to all you fire fighters, THANK YOU!!!! Thank You Jesus for their lives echoing what You designed and purposed in our hearts.

"This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. " John 15:12-13